Night & dew

Deep in the night when the moon is at rest

Her heart awakens and chaos soon sets

The feelings that she bury inside,

The emotions that lay hidden

The barrier breaks and she becomes vulnerable n forbidden

The girl who rides the dragon of calm with dawn of light

Fights off demons of sadness and plight

Her laughter can be heard ringing afar

Gets lonely and silent with the fall of night

Cause then she lays her leash at rest

Heart takes over her feeble protest

She then speaks and bares her soul

but his words, his comfort were icy cold

He heard her all and told off some

Tis not time, not mood to become

Sleep shies away as tears flow down

The one to wipe is sleeping sound

With broken wings and eyes with dew

She needs to be the dragon girl in moments few

How stories mould us.

A man can be seen as a reflection of what he has read especially during his childhood days. We don’t realize it but those stories have shaped us to be what we are today. I remember reading Enid Blyton a lot during those days. She was the first author I read and she took me to a world so different from reality. Her collections of short stories have impacted me in some ways. I still cannot forget the story titled “Pennyworth of Kindness”. It was a really simple story that told the story of how a boy’s help to a random stranger with just a penny came back to him in full circle in a much enlarged form. I don’t know why it stayed with me, but it has. Since then, I have tried to help people whenever I can. It may sound selfish because I do want to see it come full circle to me like it did to that little boy. Whatever my motive behind it but it has made me a better person.

There was another story about minding your P’s and Q’s. A simple tale of a boy who didn’t have manners. He would forget his please and thank you ever so often. He was sent to a place where if he didn’t follow manners, things would stick on to him and would get off only if he said his golden words at appropriate places. That taught me to be polite and thankful for things. She also gave me the belief that every one and any one can be a hero if they want to be.

Books like Panchtantra, Jatak Kathayein, Akbar Birbal and Tenaliram were full of stories of intellect and moral. I grew up reading these books and they have moulded me into the person I am today. The stories you tell your kids when they are growing up can be a big factor in their psychological development. These stories, tales and fables are just not a mean to pass your time but they can direct you, guide you in the right direction. Those daily bedtime reads can impact you for your life even though you might not realize it. These things have a way to leave their imprints in our subconscious.

The books we read can have an influence on our future.

Cultural impact on Psyche

Human psyche has been a much debated topic for long now. Is there any generalization to it? Can we say that every human brain processes in the same way to the same information or does external influences change it? I claim to be no expert on it. Nor have I ever studies human psychology. I just got curious about it. My opinions and ideas are based on a few psyche based sitcoms and my own experiences.

I believe that culture has a great impact on how we think. A thing that is acceptable in one society, may have an outrageous impact in the other. A father hitting a child is acceptable and many a times a requirement in eastern societies while in western societies it is termed as child abuse. A simple question like, do you feel abused and disrespected can have two very different answers. A child who has been brought up in East might say that no, it is a common occurrence and that is being done so that I better myself. A child from West would say that yes, I feel abused. I might want to kill my parents because of it.Same question about the same circumstances from two kids of same age but of different cultures can have so different answers.

So, how do we evaluate each human being? Do we use different sets of questions for them based n their culture or do we value them equally? Before judging a person based on one’s observation, do we ever consider about his background or on what principles and thought processes has he grown up? The answer is NO. Atleast I can say that about myself.

But I have decided that it is now time to change. I have to give the person a small benefit of doubt that, what he is doing is based on what he has been taught throughout his life and that I shouldn’t be in a haste to pass my judgement. There are so many more things that I want to add on to this topic, but it might take a while then. In conclusion, I would just like to say that, if you see a guy being abusive, pause and give a thought to what he might have faced while growing up. I do not wish to exempt him from his deeds but I would ask for a better understanding of his actions.

Beginning

To understand a story better, it is important to know the beginning of it. This is a start of penning down my thoughts. Though it is just not limited to that. I shall be writing my ideas and opinions about various things. Till now I have mostly written poems to express my feelings about certain aspect of my life. That helped me a lot by giving me a vent out for all that had accumulated inside me and was slowly drowning me. Introverts or shy (in respect to their expressing themselves) people have a big drawback. They tend to get depressed more easily and it is not a major task to destabilize their normal being. I can say that cause I am one of them. We lash out in various ways. We may get passive aggressive or can find simpler ways to deal with it like by writing about it. This, however, is not about that.

It is more about speaking out about topics. It was started with the intent to give room to my creative side, but I want to talk about things more. I was suggested to write short stories. I did write a few, and they were fine, but I realized that they were not entirely original. I knew that the idea for my story is lifted from some other story. This is one flaw of being an avid reader. You start finding similarities and relations between different story. You find that most of the stories are not a novel idea. They are inspired. This made me shift my focus from short stories to what to write then?

I decided to bounce off my ideas and opinions here. Currently, I am watching back to back seasons of “Criminal Minds”. It has made me question a lot about human psyche. How it works? What makes it tick? How people perceive things differently? That shall be my topic for the next time. Signing off for now.

Answers

This is an answer to all the questions you asked
This is me getting completely unmasked
Was I cruel to run away from you
Was I a demon through and through
Was I punished you had asked
Tune in you got a broadcast

I asked if you wanted me to love you back
You said no, we ain’t going on that track
We will be friends you told me so
I sighed with relief you know
I was being friends when I felt your love
I asked and you said I was stupid enough
I was being a fool in doubting your intention
You stressed the point lifting all the tension

I was free, I was being me
It turned out to be a fantasy
You wanted more
You wanted a lover
I could never be one
I guess that wasn’t clear
I saw the strain creeping up again
I saw you unhappy and in pain
What could I do to ease that out
I changed myself but that didn’t work out

You looked down at me with such disdain
All the efforts were like a dragon slain
You still loved me, you made it crystal clear
That was the one thing that I most feared
I never loved you was a lie I quote
A lie to which I could emote

I loved you enough
To know I hurt you
I loved you enough
To see you were blue
I love you enough to know you wouldn’t give up
I loved you enough to know it could never be us

I let you go to fly high in the sky
To chase your dream and not be shy
I didn’t shed a tear, I didn’t cry
With a heavy heart I wished goodluck and good bye.

Fantasy

I have a snow globe with a couple in
Holding hands dancing in sync
I hear the symphony being played
I see the snow falling in
I imagine to be the girl with a pretty dress
I fancy a guy who wants to impress
Who takes me to a dreamworld
And places far beyond
We dance we laugh we kiss
Until its dawn

I wanna be the song on his lips
I wanna be the coffee he sips
I want to live in this fantasy of mine
Till the time I take to find
The boy in the snow globe
The prince on the horse
The guy of my dreams
The man my heart says is mine

Love that was never meant to be

He loved that was never meant to be
She kissed that was never her to be
They dreamt that was never true to be

He took a love bud n made it flower
He removed mine n made it our
She sparkled it with a caring shower
It bloomed with the passing hour

Then fell the night and there it closed
Taking away the joy it so posed
She walked on without looking back
He stood by and alone he mourned

Years passed and he smiled again
Mending his heart and there she came
She begged and made promises in vain
He believed her just to loose again

Two falls later she felt her guilt
Thought of the flower she left to wilt
Sorry she said and walked back to him
He opened his heart and let her in

She now gave it the friend’s shower
But he still nurtured the love flower
What a fool he has been to think so
or was it love that didn’t believe a no

She moved on with tiniest remorse
Leaving him behind to hate the love rose
He trashed the dream and spark of hope
But the feel of kiss would still not elope!!!!

Mood

I dunno what is wrong with me
Seems like something is missing in me
Some point where I’m stuck
And life seems to suck
Some spice is missing in my life
Like a blunt knife
Interesting is what I’m searching for
Dunno when will I get that far
I feel like crying
I feel like shying
Want to stay alone
With my thoughts and in the zone
Want to bathe deep in water
Want to jump in the sky
Waste is the feeling I’m getting
All I’ve done is nothing
No aim in life to look upto
Maybe that is what is missing
I now will aim for my dream
And hope will get my vibe
The girl I was, the laugh I had
The joys I felt and passion I had
Wanna write more but not getting the words
Wanna feel better but it’s now worse
Life seems a burden to carry………

The Cries

I can cry for ever and ever

My heart does pain
Taking all the shame
Searching for the one I loved
I sing aloud
To search in crowd
The one I can’t live without
All I get is wasted breath
And trying times that never end
I can cry for ever and ever

I laughed with you
Now cry for you
Why did you leave me….?
Wasn’t I meant to love?
Am I not pretty enough
I should’ve known better
I can cry for ever and ever

Curses come true
I had one too
I can see the effect
I’m now lost forever
I can cry for ever and ever

The Truth

I dare not think anymore
I dare not dream anymore
Cause thoughts when spoken
And dreams when broken
Shatter you to their utmost might
Despite you hiding from everyone’s sight
I silently wipe my tears
I overcome all my fears
I ask for no help
I don’t approach anyone
Standing alone in midst of storm
I still keep myself norm
Words I’m scared of are said to me
Actions I’m afraid of are done to me
I want to scream but I don’t
And yet I’m able to say I’m me
Why to change, why to worry
Searching for my dream sanctuary
I keep looking out
Rest I will get and so will peace
That is sure without any doubt